Name of Person Reporting Incident:
Cristal
Location of Incident:
Bay Area, California
Time/ Date of Incident:
Multiple
Circumstances of Incident:
- Discrimination based on: race, gender, class, skin color
- Event by type: microaggressions in the workplace, microaggressions in public
Description of the Incident:
Many times over the course of my adult life there have been incidents where I am talked to a certain way or judged or expected to be a certain way due to my skin color, my race, gender or my familial status. One time I bumped a car in a parking lot and the other car was driven by a white male. He was incredibly aggressive from the very beginning, shouting to me how expensive and new his car was. When he did not get the response he wanted out of me, which I’m sure was to fully submit, he looked into my car and noticed my daughter in the car and started to yell at me about how I was a horrible mother to have her in the car. There was no damage and he ended up driving off. Another time I was doing my job and taking pictures of a home that was in default to the mortgage company. The occupants came outside and started getting very aggressive with me, yelling and threatening me. They even called the police. I was doing my job. I was within my legal right to be there and do what I was doing. So when the police showed up, the occupant noticed my child in the car and started to try and get me in trouble for having my child in the car and not outside of the car with me. Obviously nothing could be done as I was well within my rights and I was allowed to leave. Other times at work, I have been discriminated against by a male employer for taking time off when I was in my third trimester of pregnancy and was exhausted from moving. He wanted to fire me and another female co-worker had to explain why I might need the time off. He called me multiple times in one day harassing me and pressuring me to come back to work sooner than I wanted to. Also, as a woman in professional settings, I have been “mansplained” things too many times. In fact, other women have spoken to me as if I do not understand something when I clearly do. I think this has to do with my age or my perceived naivete due to my passion and unwillingness to sit idly and let things remain the same in my work. I’ve definitely been treated differently because of my skin color as well. Darker women seem to have issue with me for no apparent reason, and others seem to want to listen or speak to me first when a darker person is involved in the situation. This is not always the case, but it happens regularly. I get a lot of looks because I am bold and will speak out, speak up and just speak my mind when the opportunity arises, and sometimes before. Men and women of all races look at me with confused or skeptical faces because I think as a women I am expected to be small and quiet, when in reality I am big and loud.
What have you thought about since the incident took place?
I think about the internalized biases and prejudices people hold and how that can really ruin things.
How were you affected by what happened?
I think the issues I face make me stronger, but they also make me sad for humanity.
Who else was affected by what happened and how?
I think the aggressors were, perhaps without knowing. Hate in whatever form it comes is damaging, and only the complete opposite can combat it.
What do you think needs to happen to make things as right as possible?
I think people need to see others as people and that is it. I don’t believe in labels and I know judgment is human nature, but I think we have to learn to actively work against what we’ve been taught which is to judge people and make assumptions that we hold onto even after we learn they might not be true.
What do you need for your healing?
I need people to see me as Cristal and nothing else. I need people to be honest with themselves and actively seek to reverse the damage that they have caused.
