Name of Person Reporting Incident:
Cynthia Tom
Location of Incident:
Art Museum in San Francisco Bay Area
Time/ Date of Incident:
2019
Circumstances of Incident:
- Discrimination based on: race, ancestry, ethnicity
- Event by type: harassment in a public place
Description of the Incident:
I am not sure if this is the level of harassment you are looking for. We made the choice to be there, but didn’t realize the ignorance we would encounter. I am an Asian American womxn who curated an art exhibition about ancestral family trauma and resilience at an art museum in the San Francisco Bay Area, which included 10 womxn artists, mainly Asian and Latinx. This exhibition is a continuation of our artistic healing journey and a way to share cultural stories with a white centered art institution and their audiences. From the minute we arrived to install, we were consistently treated unprofessionally. I had to show them their letter of agreement about installation day- they didn’t want us there. They initially struck off our organization name from all the exhibition signage, including my curator statement. The director said they designate an area for “underserved populations”- the entrance hallway. Fortunately, I liked it better than their formal gallery space. Our family and friends who are white reported to us that the volunteer staff criticized our work and exhibition presentation in a rude and disrespectful way. A staff volunteer who expressed displeasure, loudly, since the day we installed, chose the final moments of our wonderfully sacred time there to tell our one white artist that we “didn’t deserve to be in a museum,” we were “a circus”, “rude”, “didn’t deserve a reception”, nor should we have any food (as she took some chocolate offered to her). A couple of times, I asked why we were treated with either rudeness or given mixed directions, resulting in more anger by staff. We were told they are just volunteers. When I pointed out that her staff closed the museum early while visitors were still in there, the director blamed us and said she heard the volunteer was “bossed around by the artists,” I was there, if anything we were too polite, Asian womxn shrinking in front of white rudeness.
What have you thought about since the incident took place?
I’ve learned to heal a great deal of unnamed fear, how to stand up and practice self-agency when I get hit. I’m still working on it. I think the fear is ancestral, looking back at my family patterns, if you left SF Chinatown in my parents’ day, you might have gotten killed and no one would care. I had to learn to speak to the director in short statements, begin clear what I was asking for. We came up with a phrase, “What would the privileged white guy say?” when I had to address an issue, which was often. I don’t want to put myself in harms way without purpose and support, especially presenting a show about healing with womxn healing themselves. I realized how racist it is in Marin County.
How were you affected by what happened and how?
I’m getting tougher. I had to move from San Francisco and through a friend, I move to Marin. I now understand that Marin, CA is not aligned with my art and community work so I’ve kept my art studio in San Francisco and will remain identified as a San Francisco artist. I also learned to select “aligned” community partners for art projects, unless we want to tackle this type of situation purposefully with full support from wise advisors.
Who else was affected by what happened and how?
First, the show was magically inspirational. Our audience participatory installation piece drew 300+ responses- we asked what they wanted to let go of and leave behind. The director didn’t want us to make this installation, but we knew better. Often her reasons for saying no to our proposals were that her audience wouldn’t get it. It was important for me to protect the artists from all these negative interactions as much as possible. The exhibition that I was curating is part of an ongoing arts-based healing program and I didn’t want to inject any more fear into this part of the artists’ journey, which is a courageous and vulnerable one. Some of our audience and friends were very upset about how the museum demonstrated a lack of respect during our TALKS, making noise, speaking over our artists and walking through the space to deliver food for their events. Instead of talking about the art and artists, I had to calm individual indignation. It was nice for our friends to get angry on our behalf, but what a waste of magical energy. Some of my artists were aware of what was happening, especially our one white artist. The rude staff complained to her often, thinking she was on their side. Unfortunately, she didn’t relay the comments to me until days later after she realized what they were saying. The comments triggered something in her that made her silent initially.
What do you think needs to be done to make things as right as possible?
On a spiritual level, I know this series of experiences have been some of my biggest teacher to date. I see it as a series of road signs directing what I need to heal next. On a business level, it may come down to working through their funders, like California Arts Council (who is completely focused on “Equity” for BIPOC communities right now). No one can receive funding through CAC unless you can prove or make a statement about how you engage and respect BIPOC artists. I’d like to help others learn from these recent experiences. We were blessed to have the guidance of Debra Santana, who helped us navigate this white privileged space.
What do you need for your healing?
I’ve been forced to stay still largely since Thanksgiving with eyestrain. I get dizzy writing and reading. This stillness has been physically difficult, but spiritually miraculous. I’ve been sitting with myself without the ability to distract myself. I’d like funding to work with healers, not to mention healthcare providers. I would like a platform where community service providers can come together to support and nurture each with ideas, wisdom, lived experiences and compassion, those who continue to take responsibility for their healing and not blaming others.
